Anita "Nita" Altomari

With the sun barely in the sky for an hour ‪on Tuesday morning, Anita “Nita” Altomari passed on November 17 at Epoch on Blackstone.

She is preceded in death by her husband Edward Altomari. She is survived by her children, Christine Altomari and Michael Altomari. She was the co-owner of RI Appliance Center in Cranston.

Her early life was practically Dickensian: By the time she was 12 years old, she had lost her mom. Nita recalled vividly visiting her mother at the state hospital. Her mother’s roommate, Hazel, was dealing with amputations related to diabetes but Hazel’s kindness-where Nita knew none at home-provided her an object lesson. Hazel never complained. Nor did Nita. Never. Years later when she was slammed with relentless bad news she never said “why me.” Even when she was in a hospital bed or having PT, she would always ask the CNA/doctor/housekeeping-laundry staff/nurse/therapist, how was your day, how are your kids.

Following her mother’s death, Nita’s paternal aunt, Helen Gasbarro, offered shelter and there she lived until her marriage. Nita would say Helen prevented her from being placed into foster care and was eternally grateful. When Helen's husband, Pat, was in the hospital dying, Nita would bring her lunch daily, a small token of what Helen had given her.

She and Ed had two children, Chris and Michael. A stay-at-home mom until both were in their early 20s, she enjoyed cooking for the holidays and Sundays during the summer for backyard pool parties and at Goddard Park. (Owning a full-size motor home required her to be both the chief cook and bottle washer.) She had little confidence (her words) in her ability but was, in fact, quite artistic in baking individual apple pies, banana bread (she was constantly on the lookout for a new variation), pound cake, and pizzelles. She read cookbooks as intently as venture capitalists read The Wall Street Journal. The refrigerator upstairs and the downstairs freezers (yes, plural) were stocked with Christmas cookies. A plate of homemade cookies as a gift may be from a bygone era, but speaks volumes to her boundless generosity. “You know the rule: If you don’t like em, you don’t eat em” was a familiar bumper sticker phrase. She also kept a Christmas tree up year-round and took great pleasure in rotating her favorite ornaments to the front. Nita had the Christmas Spirit year round.

She was lucky (her word) to have visited Walt Disney World and EPCOT with her family more than a dozen times in the late 70s and 80s. She would say her guy was Donald Duck and became an avid collector of seasonal Disney beanie-babies. She often would tell the story (as recently as last month) when a police officer walked into the family business almost ten years ago and mentioned casually how he was planning a trip to Orlando. She was thrilled for him and his family; upon his return he presented Nita with a small Donald Duck that still resides in her china cabinet. Her enthusiasm was sincere-and in this instance reciprocated by a stranger.

Mostly spiritual (though her house had crucifixes and talismans from all the world religions), Nita was the definition of a good Christian. She never criticized her neighbors (during the Blizzard of ’78, she cooked hot meals for an elderly couple who lived across the street; they were quite vocal in their disapproval and concerned that house values would depreciate because a young Italian-American couple had moved in), would discreetly slip a friend or family member in need a twenty dollar bill (or two or more), would bake chocolate chip cookies (from scratch) for a CNA’s son who unjustly lost a high school election, and kept confidences. She wished every baby good health and happiness “forever and a day.”

It is not a cliché but she was truly loved and will be deeply missed especially by her children and also cousins Paula Radigan and Pat Gasbarro (who she grew up with), Dominic Ferraro, friends Virginia and John Fawcett, Mary Kanelos and her daughter Denise Zavota, Norma and Joe LoPresti, and the medical professionals she met along the way who became like family. Karen and Clint Lyles (who made themselves available for furniture shopping, provided transport for IV infusions, and to pick up Chris at Green Airport). Tara Geraghty and Karyn Rizzo also gave Chris much-needed guidance to maneuver through the highly convoluted healthcare system and for that she was most appreciative. As Nita would say on more than one occasion, “it’s all in the phrasing.”

Nita was a remarkable wife, mother, and friend and possessed immeasurable grace and courage especially in her later years. Her family sincerely hopes she is in a place, free of all physical discomfort, perhaps in the kitchen, alongside her father-in-law Nick (he would call her Lady; she kept his prayer card in every room and every handbag), cooking chicken in red wine vinegar with an apple cake in the oven, and a cup of tea with lemon nearby.

In lieu of flowers, please make donations, in Nita's name, to her favorite charity, St. Jude Children's Research Hospital, PO Box 50, Memphis, TN 38101.